In light of a decision I was faced with today, I decided to skip healing for now and head right on over to forgiveness. I'm in need of a refresher course. This may be a bit random, but I'll try to keep my thoughts as clear as they can be.
Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
A little bit of a back story. I was hurt by someone. Not only me, but my whole family. I thought I had forgiven this person, but I realize now that is was not forgiveness at all, but it was avoidance. I avoided this person, and then I could avoid how I felt. Today it was made known to me I will have to face this person for one weekend a month. I have to worship, pray, and interact with this person.
Just a little while ago, I told my hubby that I didn't want to have bad feelings towards this person. And now I think God is going to teach me how to do that. I'm not looking forward to it. I know it's going to be really hard. I'm emotionally exhausted because I feel like I've been wrestling with myself all day.
The biggest thing that hit me today, was this... why do I feel this persons sins are worse than mine? Why do I think I'm better than them? They don't deserve forgiveness. I don't deserve forgiveness. But Jesus gave up his life for us. What bigger love is there, than to give up your life for someone?
That reminds me... just a few months ago, I blogged about wanting to show more of God's love. I wanted to be filled with God's love. This is a perfect opportunity for that.
I'll leave you with one more verse.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
3 comments:
If I didn't know what you were referring to, I would think, its easy to forgive. When you know, what the whole family, the husband, children, grandparents, and siblings of the husband, have been through because of this,its a whole different story. This is what God wants us to do. Forgiveness is not part of the worlds vocabulary. This blog, made me cry. I need to post some of these verses as reminders.
Yes, when you know what happened you know it's not easy. But we're called to forgive whether it's easy, or not. I wanted to simplify it as much as I could, otherwise, I think it would be impossible to forgive.
It's really hard to forgive. Now I'm struggling with what to do after. Forgiving is not forgetting and I don't know where to go from here. Yes I forgive ____ but I'm still really hurt and continue to be hurt. I have no choice but to have a relationship with these people because they are family. Any suggestions?
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