I just started thinking about what I was going to write and I totally figured out why I've been feeling the way I have. I go through these periods of time where I want. I want a new guest bed, I want a king size bed, I want a couch and love seat, I want a Pfaff sewing machine. This is driving me crazy. I know we can't afford any of these things. I didn't know why my mind was persisting in wanting these. But then, I figured it out. I haven't been wracked with fear lately. It's been awesome! We haven't gone out to restaurants, and we haven't eating at peoples houses lately, but if that's what I have to do to keep the fear under control, I'll gladly do it. So instead of attacking me with fear, the enemy has cleverly switched to wants. Another weakness of mine. And he's been very sneaky about it. I remember when it started. Someone who had slept on our guest bed let me know that it's not a very good bed. I was very glad he let me know and I feel really bad that people have been sleeping on it for who knows how long with a big dip on one side. So, it started out wanting to be a good hostess and having a good bed for my guests to sleep on. From there, it's just turned into a mind-filling cycle that won't turn off. But now that I know what it is, I will snuff it out.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
2 comments:
You need to know that your guest bed is fine. You are always a good hostess and we are always so pleased to stay there. I hope you can put those comments out of your mind. But I know what you mean about the "want cycle" it bites over and over, just like worry. You have given it over to the right one, God will renew your mind and your spirit. Keep on giving it up and you will know what it is to be satisfied.
I'm going to try to find you for coffee tomorrow. We have internet until Monday! Yippee!
I like your guest bed, its very comfortable. Its so cool, that you realized where those thoughts, were coming from. We are in a battle, and not against flesh and blood.
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