Mystery Afghan

I'm doing the Bernat Mystery Afghan Crochet Along!  You can find it here, on the Bernat website.  It just started yesterday.  You can read on their site how it works.. but I'm going to try and be faithful about posting my square each week when I'm done.  So here's week one.

Catching Up

I know I haven't been blogging much, and I'm not sure if I'm going to try more, or not, but I have a few things I feel like saying. Just for the record.

Trevor just got back yesterday from his third trip to India this year. He's been gone for almost 2 full months. It's been hard, but super nice because my parents have been able to come each time to help me. There may be more travel in the near future, but we're just praying for God's will.

It's so nice to have him home. I love this time when he's just gotten home and is so happy to be here. His job is so stressful that this time doesn't seem to last too long until he's back in the thick of it and trying not to bring his work "home". Which is really hard for him, because he works from home.

Brooklyn has started Grade 2 and Samantha has started K. They're both doing really well, though I'm having a hard time doing school every day when we've had so many distractions. At the least, we've been trying to do math and reading every day.

We also started AWANA and Transform last week. The girls really love AWANA and this is Becca's first year. She was a little nervous to go in, but did really well! I'm doing a study on Romans, and I think Trevor will be joining me. I think it's going to be really good! I really enjoyed the first week. There is someone in our group that is on my worship team and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. Last week I was stressed and so tired because I was trying to get my room painted and organized before Trevor came home and this lady, Heather, sent me a message and told me to call her the next day so she could come help me organize my bedroom! I just couldn't believe that someone would be so thoughtful. I was so touched. I declined because I did get most of it done, and my parents did some work in there while I was relaxing at Transform. But all the things my parents did to help me is another post...

I think God had me in his thoughts as he inspired Max Lucado to write this paragraph in Fearless...

"Seek first the kingdom of wealth, and you'll worry over every dollar. Seek first the kingdom of health, and you'll sweat every blemish and bump. Seek first the kingdom of popularity, and you'll relive every conflict. Seek first the kingdom of safety, and you'll jump at every crack of the twig. But seek first his kingdom, and you will find it. On that, we can depend and never worry."

He also had the words to this hymn.

"Not so in haste, my heart!

Have faith in God, and wait;

Although He linger long,

He never comes too late.

He never comes too late;

He knoweth what is best;

Vex not thyself in vain;

Until He cometh, rest.

Until He cometh, rest.

Nor grudge the hours that roll;

The feet that wait for God

Are soonest at the goal.

Are soonest at the goal

That is not gained with speed;

Then hold thee still, my heart,

For I shall wait His lead."

Learning to trust

I know that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, but this was a good reminder today.

Matthew 6:25-34

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and our heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Possibly some big changes coming that may really affect the near future and I'm having a hard time not thinking about it and wondering what's going to happen. All I can see is what I think would be the better option, and I know God's got a bird's eye view on the subject and knows much better than I what will be best. I keep praying for his will in the matter and now I'm just waiting to see what that is. If anything changes, I'll keep you posted.

How He Loves by David Crowder

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us

Oh! how He loves us,

Oh! how He loves us,

Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside my chest,

I don't have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way...

He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

Father's Day

Just taking time today to be thankful for the Dad's in my life!

My Dad is the best! I love him so much and have a great relationship with him. He gives so much and asks for nothing in return. Plus, he's an awesome Grandpa to my girls!

My FIL is awesome, too! I couldn't have asked for a better one. He's sweet to me and welcomed me into the family right from the start. He's also a great Papa to our girls :)

And my hubby! I love him so much and am so thankful for him. He's an amazing father to our girls and such a wonderful hubby too! LOVE HIM! :)

Philippians 1:6

I feel like my life was just flipped upside down. In a good way. A couple days ago, I watched the video below... Now I'm reading this.

I can't believe how wrong I've had it. After being a "Christian" for nearly my whole life!

I guess it started a couple weeks ago in church, our pastor preached on Christian Atheism. How people believe there is a God, but live like he isn't there. How what is really missing in most people's lives is a fear of God. I started to wonder if I had that fear. I have a lot of other fears, but do I really fear God? I'd have to honestly say, probably not. I know I've had some changes in my life and I believe that God has worked in me, but I don't think I was really fearful of Him.

Since then, I've been asking God to touch my life so that I will be forever "ruined" (Isaiah 6:5) and will never be the same. My sister-in-law started this group with her friends on FB where we girls can share what we've been learning in our quiet times, and just be accountable to each other. One of her friends, whom I would have never met otherwise, posted this video, the one below, and it really shook me. I really haven't know what has been going on in my spirit since I watched it. I knew it was something big. I just couldn't verbalize it. And I'm still having problems, so I apologize if this jumps all over the place.

Yesterday I started reading the downloadable book that I linked earlier and my spirit and heart and head were doing flip flops. I was struggling within myself to understand where God was taking me with this and was I ever really going to get it? And then, about an hour ago... God touched me. I have struggled with feelings of "I've never done anything really bad, and I'm decent to look at, so there must be some good in me". But the Bible tells us that apart from God, we can do no good. (Romans 3:12) At the end of Chapter 9 it asks us

"What areas in your life do you still feel have worth? Embrace the cross and allow Christ

to crucify thesWhat areas in your life do you still feel have worth? Embrace the cross and allow Christ

to crucify these things. "

I spoke to God about what was in my heart and still didn't really feel any change. But as I continued to read, God showed me the truth. He showed me the truth about being baptized. I was told, a couple years ago, that we need to be baptized in the spirit, and this is a different baptism than that of water, and that you will know you received the Holy Spirit because you will speak in tongues, immediately. This didn't sit right with my spirit and I have struggled with this line of thought since then. But NOW I KNOW!!! THANK YOU JESUS! God gave me understanding and I am so thankful! God showed me that I am nothing without him, and he gave me an awe of him that I don't remember having before.

I haven't finished reading this book yet, so hopefully I'll have more to say when I'm done!