Growing

Just to let you know, God really pulled me through this weekend. I was at peace and able to worship in the way I know God would want me to.

God really worked in me last week, and for that I'm grateful. I never want to look back on my life and realized that I was the same from beginning to end. I want God to be ever working in me, growing me and stretching me. I know it won't always be comfortable, but I know that He'll see me through it.

After Forgiveness

Even though there is still hurt after forgiveness, we are called to love.

Romans 12:14
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

John 15:17
This is my command: Love each other.

Matthew 5:43-44
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Check out 1 Cor. 13:4-13 if you need a reminder of true love.

I believe if you do this, love your neighbor as you love yourself, God will heal your hurt. I don't know how long it will take, but I believe that He'll do it and I will pray for that.

Forgiveness

In light of a decision I was faced with today, I decided to skip healing for now and head right on over to forgiveness. I'm in need of a refresher course. This may be a bit random, but I'll try to keep my thoughts as clear as they can be.

Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

A little bit of a back story. I was hurt by someone. Not only me, but my whole family. I thought I had forgiven this person, but I realize now that is was not forgiveness at all, but it was avoidance. I avoided this person, and then I could avoid how I felt. Today it was made known to me I will have to face this person for one weekend a month. I have to worship, pray, and interact with this person.

Just a little while ago, I told my hubby that I didn't want to have bad feelings towards this person. And now I think God is going to teach me how to do that. I'm not looking forward to it. I know it's going to be really hard. I'm emotionally exhausted because I feel like I've been wrestling with myself all day.

The biggest thing that hit me today, was this... why do I feel this persons sins are worse than mine? Why do I think I'm better than them? They don't deserve forgiveness. I don't deserve forgiveness. But Jesus gave up his life for us. What bigger love is there, than to give up your life for someone?

That reminds me... just a few months ago, I blogged about wanting to show more of God's love. I wanted to be filled with God's love. This is a perfect opportunity for that.

I'll leave you with one more verse.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Wants

I was really struggling with something yesterday. Over the weekend I went shopping for more sheets and a duvet cover. I could not decide. I have expensive taste and cannot bring myself to buy something "cheap" when I've already fallen in love with something expensive. Here is what I fell in love with.

I think it's so pretty. My friend and I are going to attempt making beautiful headboards in the spring. And I wanted to paint my room a nice brown colour and get new baseboards and new curtains (currently, we have our old curtains pinned to the wall and one is sideways and inside out, so it's sun bleached side is showing). Then we could get some new side tables and a new chest-of-drawers. In my mind, it was the most beautiful room in the house.

Then I started feeling guilty. Why does my room have to be the nicest room in the house? No one will see it except Trevor and I. We don't have the best reputation for keeping our room clean, and we rarely make the bed. And then I think maybe if we had nice things, we'd want to keep our room clean. But I don't think that would happen. It all just makes me sad because I want it, but I know that for us, it's just a waste. Which is good for me. Usually if there's something like that I want I just buy it and don't think about it. So it was good for me to go through this process. I'm still feeling a little down.. but I'll get over it.

Side note.. I've been thinking about the whole healing thing and I'm almost ready to make a post.

Keep on Keeping on

I have said it before and I'll say it again, Samantha marches to the beat of her own drum. There has been zero progress on the potty training front. She still wears panties everyday. She hasn't used the potty since the first day. She either waits until nap time when she has a pullup on, or she just goes wherever she is. So frustrating!

But I will not give up!

I will not go quietly into the night!!

In other news, we got our new bed today! I'm so excited and I can't wait to go to bed. The only sad part is that I can't get the bamboo sheets that I wanted. They don't make them in anything bigger than 16in. Unfortunately ours is at least 16in so it won't fit. Boo hoo for me. So now I have to find some other sheets for it... and I want to get a new duvet cover. So, we'll have to see.

And the Quarterback is toast...

I have temporarily put on hold the cleaning on my storage space. I have noticed lately that our bed just isn't cutting it. I haven't had a good night sleep in I don't know how long. Trevor and I both slept well at Mom and Dad's and when we got home, I started not sleeping well again, and Trevor's back started hurting. Plus, before we got married, the mattress we have was my in-laws guest bed, so it's at least 10 years old. So we decided we needed to look at getting a new bed. On Sunday we got the flyer for The Br.icks 3 day sale and they had their best mattress set on for 50% off! How can you get a better deal than that?? So, we decided to go for it. We got a King since we keep elbowing each other and we have always wanted one. I am so excited! We get it around the 14th. Which is great because that will give me time to clean out our room.

Our room is a horrible mess. It always is. Even after I spend a week cleaning it, it goes back to being a mess fairly quickly. It isn't a priority for me. No one sees our room. I try and concentrate on the areas people see and that's really all I have time for. Our room ends up being a dumping ground. Not good, but I'm organized enough for it to be anything else. Someday it will be a place that I can go and relax.. but right now, it isn't.

Also, this later date give me time to find some bed sheets. I want some really nice ones, so I cashed in some airmiles and will go shopping as soon as my GC come.

I finished some mittens that I knitted over the weekend. I was so happy once I figured it out and got some help from a friend!! You know who you are! They are great and I want to knit some for everyone! But, now I'm making an Afghan and then Brooklyn wants me to make a blanket for her ducky.. and Mingo the Fingo (who is a flamingo).

Huge praise report! After taking a break from potty training we got back at it today. I put some panties on Sammy and this morning around 11, I asked her to go sit on the potty and she did. She sat there for about 10min and said, "I did it Mommy. I did it!" I was like... huh? I checked and she peed! YAHOO! She had a pullup on during her nap, and didn't use it!! And she didn't have one accident today! What a big girl. I couldn't believe it! I'm so proud of her.

Rebecca's vocabulary is really building. Here's a list of the words she says. Baba (for Grandpa, and Grandma), Hi, Hello, Up, Help, Please, More, Mommy, Daddy, and No. That's all I can think of for now. It seems like more. She copies quite a bit, but these are her regular words. She'll say "blast off" when prompted in a song.

Brooklyn is getting so big! She's starting to consciously ask for something in a very polite manner. It's so sweet. Her and Samantha are best friends and it's so great! I have such amazing girls. I am so blessed.

BTW, my title has nothing to do with my post. I just think it's funny.

Work, Work, Work

I started cleaning out our storage space under the stairs. I really want to rip the whole basement apart and start over.. but Trevor sorta laughed when I said that, so I think I'll stick to cleaning.. for now. It's kinda sad, but when we moved in, we just shoved all the boxes that would fit there and didn't really bother organizing it, or even really cleaning out the stuff that was there. So that's what I want to do. It's about time.. It's only been nearly 3 years!! So far, I've taken some of the boxes out and labeled them. This is going to be very helpful next year when I need to find the Christmas ornaments. And will also help in how far back in the space I can store it. Keepsakes can go pretty far back because it's not very often that we need those. Then Christmas stuff, and then everything else. When I'm done this, I'd like to go through the boxes in the garage. I know there's stuff in there I can get rid of, since it's been there for nearly 3 YEARS!! and I haven't needed it yet. Also, there stuff I can move into the house so maybe I'll use it more often.. like my ice cream maker.

Well, Trevor just got home from the store so I better go see what he bought.